This is not the place for me to whine. Every single person who’s reading this post has had some terrible days and stessful periods in their lives, and whatever I’m going through is not exceptional or special in any way. It’s just one of those pieces of time where it’s a little more difficult to find things to add to my Gratitude Journal.
Right now as I’m writing this, I’m listening to a news report about Veteran suicides. Point.
But still I’m whining.
I guess what I’m asking myself is when do we get real with each other? On Facebook (political posts notwithstanding) I see either fluffy perfect pictures of cute animals and perfect lives, or I see what seems to me to be sympathy-seekers. Facebook is probably not the place to seek authenticity.
Maybe it’s here.
So to my whinefest: This afternoon, in the middle of all of the Stuff, I had to straighten some stupid billing errors out with our health insurance provider (I went from an individual plan to a Medicare/Senior Advantage plan), and make several appointments for tests with same provider. Routine tests (nothing dramatic) but I was on hold to the point of forgetting who I was calling and why. How come I can schedule certain appointments online, but if any kind of imaging is involved I have to call?
And I really, really, really had plans to get to the writing I wanted to do this afternoon to finally get the first draft of the book I’m ghostwriting taken care of by the end of THIS month (as opposed to my plans to have it finished by the end of LAST month—another story) so I could get back to my own manuscript. Between you and me, I’m missing my characters in the worst way. And to write fiction again? Oy.
Sorry. I’ve gone from whining to ranting. That’s one stop short of raving.
While I want to yell “F*** it” about twelve hundred times right now, I can also tell you that within a few hours, tomorrow at the latest (when you’re reading this) my optimist hat will have righted itself and I’ll be fine. Dont worry about me. I know how to take a breath.
But here’s where I am with my Mysteristas posts: I’ve decided not to fake it. I will not find a “safe” topic to write about when I’m feeling strongly about something else. From now on I’m going to be as authentic as I can be given the fact that I’m a human being who has a private side I didn’t know I had until recently.
But I’m all about being imperfect.
And still and all and above so many things…
It’s all better with friends. Believe me, I’m grateful. And I’m still all over 2020 being an awesome year.