Teenagers – cats or vampires?

As you might know (or maybe not, because hey, are you really that interested in my home life?) I have two teenagers. The Girl is 17 (and a high-school senior – ack!), The Boy is 15. Some time ago, I put forth the following theory:

Young children are like dogs; teenagers are like cats.

Here’s my thinking. Young children are generally happy to see you, always willing to play, will happily eat at any time of day (ususally) and smother you with affection, whether convenient for you or not. Teenagers might be happy to see you – if you come bearing gifts or car keys; are rarely happy to play (I submit our family board games as evidence); eat when they want to, regardless of whether that coincides with the dinner hour or not; and give affection on their terms, again, usually when you are offering gifts or car keys.

Based on the past summer, I’ll offer an amendment: teenagers may also be vampires.

Think about it. They sleep until noon. They stay up until the wee hours of the night. They are often pasty from lack of sun (because they are holed up playing video games or watching Netflix – although The Boy does not exhibit this symptom), and their food choices are often…a mystery. Those cupboards opening and closing at 1 a.m.? What in the world is he looking for? Why is she suddenly not eating salmon, one of her favorite foods? Why are all the marshmallows missing from the container of Lucky Charms?

Hmm. That last one might also be attributable to their father. But I digress.

The point is, teenagers are creatures of the night. I remember those days. Now? Well, as the meme says, “I’m not an early bird or a night owl, but I can rock 11 a.m. like nobody’s business.” Maybe that means vampire is a step in the evolution of the teenager.

In the meantime, those bumps in the night? Probably my kids foraging for a snack.

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Author: Liz Milliron

Liz Milliron has been making up stories, and creating her own endings for other people's stories, for as long as she can remember. She's worked for fifteen years in the corporate world, but finds making things up is far more satisfying than writing software manuals. A lifelong mystery fan, her short fiction has been published in online magazines Uppagus and Mysterical-e. She has also had stories included in Lucky Charms: 12 Crime Tales, Blood on the Bayou (the 2016 Bouchercon anthology), Fish Out of Water, and Mystery Most Historical. She is a past president of the Pittsburgh chapter of Sisters in Crime. Visit her online at http://lizmilliron.com, find her on Facebook at https://facebook.com/LizMilliron, or follow her on Twitter (@LizMilliron).

16 thoughts on “Teenagers – cats or vampires?”

  1. I love your descriptions of your kids! But I’m wonderng if I ever had any teenagers, because nobody slept in my house past 9am. And if they slept late like that, there’d be no breakfast, the kitchen was closed until lunchtime. Yes, I was *that* mom. I’ll leave you with two stories that probably sum up my kids’ youth. One, my daughter called me from college within the first few weeks and said, “Thank you for turning me into a real person. Some kids here don’t even understand they need to eat and sleep!” And, two, when I was writing cookbooks and my youngest was the only kid left at home, he’d stand in front of the pantry and/or refrigerator whining, “There’s nothing to eat here … just ingredients!” He was absolutely right, poor starving boy. And it hasn’t gotten any better.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Hahaha, I often think my baby girl is like a cat: she sleeps approximately 15 hours a day, loves batting at strings and dangly toys, and everything is on her terms. Maybe babies are like cats, kids are like dogs, and teenagers are like vampires?? 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. OH, teenagers — Well, my user name is “3 no 7” because that is the number of times I have repeated the SAME instructions, request, or even comment on life. The good news is that — wait for it — teenagers actually grow up and become REAL PEOPLE! I actually did not think I was going to live that long, but I have. My children lived that long as well. I always laugh when I hear people thinking about home-schooling their kids because I know that if I had done that I would be in jail because I would have murdered them.

    So just hang in there, teenagers are like the stomach flue — you think you will die, but it will pass eventually.

    Liked by 2 people

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