As you might know (or maybe not, because hey, are you really that interested in my home life?) I have two teenagers. The Girl is 17 (and a high-school senior – ack!), The Boy is 15. Some time ago, I put forth the following theory:
Young children are like dogs; teenagers are like cats.
Here’s my thinking. Young children are generally happy to see you, always willing to play, will happily eat at any time of day (ususally) and smother you with affection, whether convenient for you or not. Teenagers might be happy to see you – if you come bearing gifts or car keys; are rarely happy to play (I submit our family board games as evidence); eat when they want to, regardless of whether that coincides with the dinner hour or not; and give affection on their terms, again, usually when you are offering gifts or car keys.
Based on the past summer, I’ll offer an amendment: teenagers may also be vampires.
Think about it. They sleep until noon. They stay up until the wee hours of the night. They are often pasty from lack of sun (because they are holed up playing video games or watching Netflix – although The Boy does not exhibit this symptom), and their food choices are often…a mystery. Those cupboards opening and closing at 1 a.m.? What in the world is he looking for? Why is she suddenly not eating salmon, one of her favorite foods? Why are all the marshmallows missing from the container of Lucky Charms?
Hmm. That last one might also be attributable to their father. But I digress.
The point is, teenagers are creatures of the night. I remember those days. Now? Well, as the meme says, “I’m not an early bird or a night owl, but I can rock 11 a.m. like nobody’s business.” Maybe that means vampire is a step in the evolution of the teenager.
In the meantime, those bumps in the night? Probably my kids foraging for a snack.