1: Check e-reader and watch book arrive. There it is! Smile.
2: Check email
3: Check Facebook
4: Check Twitter
5: Check ranking with online retailers
6: Check # of reviews
7-11: Repeat #2-6
12: Wonder: how long until it’s appropriate to open the champagne?
13: Create a Facebook post and boost it
14: Get annoyed when Facebook does not approve your ad
15-19: Repeat #2-6
20: Not happy with ranking or reviews. Was it premature to buy champagne?
21-25: Repeat #2-6. Post something funny yet mostly unrelated to your book launch. Marvel at the interaction of your online friends. They seem to care!
26: Buy your own book in paperback and ebook on every platform you own, just to help boost sales
27: Look up the sales ranking of every other author who had a release the same day as you
28: Walk away from the computer and spend 45 minutes cleaning your bathroom
29: Marvel at how well the tub and shower doors clean up when you’re really focused on them
30: Life is okay, your bathroom is clean!
31-35: Repeat #2-6
36: Engage in entertaining conversations on Twitter and Facebook. People respond. Feel validated.
37: Open champagne because you waited long enough
38-42: Repeat #2-6
43: Determine that you didn’t do enough to promote your new book
44: Immediately start planning the promo campaign for your next book 6 months out
Diane Vallere | @dianevallere