Killing the Angel of the House

Virginia Woolf called her Critical Voice the Angel of the House, after the poem by Patmore in which he admonished women to be good and selfless. Or as Woolf put it, “intensely sympathetic. . . . immensely charming. . . . utterly unselfish. She excelled in the difficult arts of family like. She sacrificed herself daily. If there was chicken, she took the leg; if there was a draft she sat in it—in short she was so constituted that she never had a mind or a wish of her own, but preferred to sympathize always with the minds and wishes of others. Above all—I need not say it— she was pure. Her purity was supposed to be her chief beauty—her blushes, her great grace. In those days—the last of Queen Victoria—every house had its Angel.”

virginia-woolfWoolf killed her. She confesses all this in “Professions for Women.” “It was she who used to come between me and my paper when I was writing reviews. It was she who bothered me and wasted my time and so tormented me that at last I killed her…And when I came to write I encountered her with the very first words. The shadow of her wings fell on my page; I heard the rustling of her skirts in the room. I turned upon her and caught her by the throat. I did my best to kill her. My excuse, if I were to be had up in a court of law, would be that I acted in self–defense. Had I not killed her she would have killed me. She would have plucked the heart out of my writing. Thus, whenever I felt the shadow of her wing or the radiance of her halo upon my page, I took up the inkpot and flung it at her. She died hard. Her fictitious nature was of great assistance to her. It is far harder to kill a phantom than a reality…Killing the Angel in the House was part of the occupation of a woman writer.”

Are things still that bad for women? Do men suffer from this phenomenon as well? How to deal with this internalized voice? I stole this exercise from writer Susan Griffin (Transforming Terror, Wrestling with The Angel of Democracy, A Chorus of Stones, Woman and Nature to name a few of her books). Make this freewriting. Write without stopping. Don’t worry about grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc.

  • Let your Creative Self introduce her/himself. “Hello, I’m your creative self and I . . .” What does this person look like, dress like, do during the day? Favorite food? Favorite color? Whatever she wants to talk about. (5 minutes)
  • Let your Critical Self introduce her/himself. Same thing. “Hello, I’m your critical self and I . . .” Once mine told me she could go into a library, touch the spine of a book, and know everything that was in it. Critical Voices aren’t too unreasonable. I was in grad school at the time. (5 minutes)
  • Now let the two talk to each other. Let them fight it out. Let them come to some deal, like “Stop worrying. I won’t show this to anyone until you read it.” (You can guess who says that.) “But I’m just here to protect you.” “Why don’t you go have some ice cream while I write?”

It’s important to come to some working relationship with your CV. Once I went six months without marking anything out. My pages used to be filled with lots of blacked out words (this was in the paper and ink days, you know). My manuscripts resembled CIA redacted documents. But I stopped that for six months. I learned I can write some pretty good stuff. And some pretty bad stuff. I learned to just keep writing.


Author: Theresa Crater

Award-winning author Theresa Crater brings ancient temples, lost civilizations and secret societies back to life in her visionary fiction. In The Star Family, a Gothic mansion holds a secret spiritual group and a 400-year-old ritual that must be completed to save the day. The shadow government search for ancient Atlantean weapons in the fabled Hall of Records in Under the Stone Paw and fight to control ancient crystals sunk beneath the sea in Beneath the Hallowed Hill. Other novels include School of Hard Knocks and God in a Box, both exploring women in historical context. Her short stories explore ancient myth brought into the present day. The most recent include “The Judgment of Osiris” and “Bringing the Waters.” Theresa has also published poetry and a baker’s dozen of literary criticism. Currently, she teaches meditation, as well as creative writing and British lit.

6 thoughts on “Killing the Angel of the House”

  1. Great post, Theresa. Based on what I’ve read and heard, I think all writers – men and women – experience this CV and the “I will never write anything good again” angst. Perhaps it’s more pronounced for women or we’re just more willing to talk about it?


  2. Love this! Love the Woolf quote and love your exercises! Can’t wait to see CV and CV duke it out. I use an old manual typewriter to over-rule Critical Voice because who wants to go back and retype?


  3. How fabulous–and written with such style and grace, too! Thank you.

    Must thank Virginia, too, for lines like this: “The shadow of her wings fell on my page; I heard the rustling of her skirts in the room.”


  4. i know, Sue. Isn’t it funny they have the same initials. The typewriter is a good plan.

    Thanks, Cynthia. Isn’t Woolf wonderful?


  5. Theresa, this is such a good exercise, I’m going to do it. It reminds me of Sue Grafton talking about Shadow and Ego, and how these two parts of a writer have to learn to coexist, but how they can get in the way of each other. Fascinating stuff! And yes, I think we all have CVs that tear us down and make us think we can’t do this. Every writer is fighting that same demon.


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