Fireworks: Delivery Appointment Edition

  1. Order item, which you need by Friday.
  2. Check online tracking service on Wednesday and see that it has already arrived in your city.
  3. Receive nothing on Wednesday.  Receive nothing on Thursday.
  4. Email customer service at store: explain that the item was in your city on Wednesday and was supposed to be delivered on Thursday but now it’s Friday and you haven’t heard anything.
  5. Receive no return customer service email.
  6. Call store customer service later in the day and explain everything again.
  7. Listen to customer service representative apologize and tell you that he’s filling out a form that will cause a specialist to call you tomorrow and fix the problem.
  8. Receive no specialist phone call, ever.
  9. Receive letter in mail from delivery company on Saturday, saying “We tried to contact you about your delivery but haven’t been able to get ahold of you.  Please call us during regular business hours, Monday through Friday.”
  10. Note that the letter is postmarked on Wednesday, which means they sent the letter the day that item arrived in town.  Without having left any messages on any of your voicemails, anywhere, at any time, even though they “haven’t been able to get ahold of you” and even though their phone number does not show up in any of your caller ID records.  Which means delivery company = liars.
  11. Receive email from store, saying that they’re writing to resolve the recent delivery problem as follows: you need to contact delivery company to set up an appointment.
  12. Receive follow-up email from store, asking if your problem has been solved.
  13. Email store, explaining that your problem has yet to be solved.  State that, at this point, the item will be arriving too late and you now wish to cancel the order, please.
  14. Receive no further contact from store.
  15. Wait until holiday weekend is over.
  16. Call delivery company first thing Tuesday morning.
  17. Explain that the item will be arriving too late and that you would like to refuse the item, please.
  18. Listen to delivery company representative tell you that he will take care of it, that the item will be returned.
  19. Go about your day, glad to be done with that rigamarole.
  20. Receive voice mail one hour later wherein the representative from the delivery company says, “We have a package to deliver to you!  Please call us to set up a time…”

10 thoughts on “Fireworks: Delivery Appointment Edition”

  1. This reminds me of some of Doris Lessing’s novels. In one, a character keeps detailed notes about the ineptitude of various company and government employees.


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